You’re in my Thoughts

 

There are times when you come to my mind

And the thought makes me smile.

Sometimes I wonder how you’re doing

And wonder how life is treating you.

It’s nice to have you in my thoughts

And reminisce of times we used to share.

And heaven help me for thinking of you

But you happened to invade my every thought.

 

I don’t know why I remember you so

Or why the impulse of talking to you is still there,

Or why in my heart there’s still despair…

Sometimes I want to lock you out of my mind

But the memories come like phantoms in the dark

That light up in the smallest space of my heart.

And heaven help me for having you in my thoughts,

But you happened to invade my every thought.

 

Sometimes you come gently to my mind

Lingering there and I smile.

Then wish I could see your soothing eyes

And hear your voice so sweet one more time before a sunrise,

Just one more time before the day is through,

Just one more time before my mind doesn’t remember you

And heaven help me for thinking of you

But you happened to invade my every thought.

 

 

Our Angel

 

I watch you as you walk away

And on your own you go your way.

I admire how you’ve grown.

You are delicate, and yet you’re strong.

 

You’ve become a fine young lovely lady.

Just yesterday, it seems you were a baby.

Now you walk with poise and grace,

When before, to the playground you’d always  race.

 

Your smile now shyly you display,

When before you’d  never shy away.

My little girl has become a fine young lady.

But forever, you’ll always be my BABY…

 

Heaven’s Bride

 

I sat and silently watch as they passed somberly two by two

They saw no eyes, no frowns, no tears, or emotions of those around.

Two by two they walked slowly behind the young new bride.

The pain, the suffering, tears, and broken dreams they couldn’t hide.

They all dressed in black and wore what seemed to be black vintage hats.

So elegantly they escorted her to the front where everyone mournfully sat.

She couldn’t say a thing, no one could hear her voice, or see her tears

That she had shed in the darkest hours of her fears.

 

One by one they stood watching over her as they talked of her sorrows

Her pains, her suffering, her fears of no tomorrows,

Her hopes of yesterdays, her laughter left in silent mode,

Her words of love to her children left unheard.

But she was there, as all stood and talked of her past days,

Tearfully uttering words of praise to those that listen in a daze.

They all dressed to pay tribute to this heroine, a once true warrior,

A loving daughter, a sister and devoted mother

This silent bride that was promised to a higher power.

And two by two they left her in her first and final hour.

 

Two by two they walked past her and cried a bittersweet goodbye

Never noticing the tears, the frowns, or emotions of those around

Drowning their pain, their sorrow as one by one left a grieving kiss

Upon her cold and lifeless cheek.

 And I sat and watch as they somberly and silently passed me by

 Taking with them their bitter grief and unbearable sorrow.

And two by two they marched overwhelmed by their power

As they sported her lovely vintage hats

That had once adorned her lovely, resting head.

 

 

On My Daughter’s Departure

 

How can I find faith and strength to keep on going?

Where is the love we shared?

Where are those little hands I’d hold when far from me you’d stray?

“Forever,” you would say, “At home I’ll always stay.”

Now you’re gone from home, and I don’t know why.

You had to leave sometime, I know.

Our children are not ours forever.

But the pain is so bad inside my soul.

And like an insane person I cry alone without control.

I say your name and my eyes fill up with tears.

My voice than completely in whispers disappears.

Will you return one day?

I pray to God every single day.

Please, Dear Lord, don’t let her stray away.

 

Then I remember when I left my mother's home,

To wed my husband and go my way…

What pain she must have felt to see me go.

“But Mom, I’ll come and visit when I can,

I’m not too far, you know.”

That’s what I’d say to soothe her pain away.

I didn’t understand or felt her loss back then.

 

Now years later, not to wed, but for freedom’s sake

A young, single teenager, my own child, has said the same to me.

Dear God, is this what every Mother must endure

When their children do depart from home?

Give me than, the courage to withstand the painful agony

Of not seeing her in her homely bed.

Give me, Dear God, the wisdom to understand

Her joy of being independent and free

In this modern world we have made so carefree.

Give me the words to thank you too,

Dear Lord, for having lent her presence in my care.

Though sometimes I feel I didn’t do so good a job at all,

For if I had, I would still have her here to hold.

 

Why did she leave my side so young?

Where, I ask myself, did I go wrong?

I thought I gave her all my love and care,

Yet, I feel I went wrong somewhere.

Was it my bickering and angry words

When disagreements we confronted through the years?

Or perhaps her friends that from the family made her stay away?

Why did she rebel at such an early age?

Why did she sometimes strike me with words of hate?

I couldn’t reach inside her heart to please her every want…

She wouldn’t even now and then accept my undivided love.

And now alone at night I wonder what I did wrong.

 

Please God, give me consolation to go on,

The nights are the longest and no one hears my cry.

No one feels my pain, and in the day, I usually hide it anyway,

Except only when my lips speak her name.

Where is she now I ask?

Where have I driven her from here, her home?

Not ready to confront life and to be stronger.

Just give me understanding to endure her absence,

God, that’s all I ask for now.

I know this pain in a secret chamber of my heart,

At daybreak, I will hide.

 

So to you, good night, my Love, my Sweet,

Where ever you may be.

We still have a long journey ahead for you and me.

Who knows, tomorrow the sun will shine

And this torment in my heart will also, god willing, will subside.

But for now, once again, I pray to see your smile

Across our table when the day is done

In the meantime, here at night, alone I sit and cry

And hold on to the love and memories that will long into eternity survive…